One minute, people.
I still have to do touch-ups on Sylvia.
What are you telling me for?
Where the hell is Sylvia?
Hi, Iowa. How now, brown cow.
Hey, Dale?
Yeah, yeah. How's it going, Josh?
It's okay.
Look, Dale, Sylvia seems to be M.I.A.
Well, that's not very professional.
No, no, it's not.
Damn unprofessional, if you ask me.
And I agree.
Any idea where she may be?
Now, how would I know that, Josh?
I'm not my weather girl's keeper, right?
Right?
Yeah, it's just that we're on in about 25 seconds,
and I know you and she are close.
So if you have any idea where she may be...
Josh, my personal life is my business.
Are we clear on that?
Are we?
Sure.
Mary!
I'm going now.
Ms. Miller?
Ms. Miller, everybody's waiting, and
we're on in 20 seconds.
She's not answering.
I don't really...
I got her.
Jesus Christ, Sylvia.
Not cool, Syl.
Not cool.
All right, we got her.
All right, 10 seconds.
Rolling at her.
This is Seattle Morning
with Dale Waters, Sherry Warren,
and sassy weather girl Sylvia Miller.
Count it off.
5, 4...
3, 2...
What a great morning.
Not too shabby, Dale.
Good morning, Seattle.
And good morning to you, Sherry.
Good morning to you, Dale.
You look great this morning, Sherry.
Stop it.
You're making me blush.
No, seriously.
You look great, seriously.
Doesn't she look great?
Come on, you.
Let's say hello to our sassy weather girl.
Good morning, Sylvia.
- Did we lose Sylvia? - What?
What's going on? She's not talking.
The rain is sure coming down out there, Sylvia.
How long is it gonna go on like this?
Forever, Dale.
This is Seattle.
In case you haven't noticed,
the weather here sucks.
Well, I think it's romantic, Dale.
Go to camera 3, please.
A stroll in the rain with your sweetheart.
God, shut up.
Shut up, shut up, you squeaky little bitch.
We don't call her
"our sassy weather girl" for nothing, folks.
Let's go to a commercial. Okay.
You know what, Dale?
Before we do that,
there is something that I would like to share
with our viewing audience.
Well, I don't think that's such a great idea, Sylvia.
I don't care what you think, you arrogant prick.
In fact, why don't you just sit there
and look stupid.
Whatever you do, do not cut.
Do not cut.
So this is a little segment that I like to call
"behind the scenes of Seattle Morning."
My God.
Many of you may not know,
but from the moment that I started working here,
our seemingly charming cohost Dale Waters
has been all over me like a cheap suit.
Day after day,
as I stood in front of this stupid map
repeatedly trying to find new adjectives
to describe the word "rain"...
What do I do?
I've been fighting off the infantile
and often offensive advances of that guy.
That's right, ladies. He's grabby.
Go to Dale.
But you know, for a plethora of reasons,
not the least of which being I am 35, single,
and, yeah, occasionally lonely,
I gave in to his advances.
And we had several, you know,
what could only be described as disappointing encounters.
Sorry.
But despite the amateurish sex,
I somehow developed an attachment
to the walking haircut sitting in that chair.
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