The best place to meet a guy is the supermarket.
You see a guy holding a list, you know he's married.
He's in the frozen-food section carrying a small basket, he's single.
I hang out by fruits and vegetables. Better chance of getting a guy who's healthy.
Probably the best place is Home Depot or any hardware store.
You just walk up to the cutest guy and say:
"Do you know where I can get nailed? I mean, nails?
Pardon me, I've been drinking all afternoon."
And that way he knows, one, that you're easy...
...and two, that you like to drink.
I thought a great place to meet girls would be night school where they teach English.
Because these girls would be from foreign lands...
...and maybe still a little disoriented from the journey...
...and I would look attractive because I speak English very goodly.
But in the end, it did not work out as I had hoped.
I mean, basically, I was told to take a hike in 14 languages.
Where do you meet people? I don't know, they're everywhere.
Why, is there a problem?
No. No way, I'm not going out with this guy.
Just call him. Say hello. He's in my book club.
- Why is there a woman here? - It's his wife.
They're separated, but he didn't want to Photoshop her out...
...if you're not interested. They are in Hawaii.
It's the Four Seasons. This could be you in the photograph.
Aloha.
- Well, if you change your mind. - I've got a picture too.
Is that why you're all here? The whole family?
- Everyone has a picture for me? - This is an intervention, Sarah.
- He's great. - A beautiful girl like you can't just give up.
There's life after divorce.
You were married to the same woman for 45 years, Dad.
- What do you know about divorce? - Precious little, I admit.
The black specter of two lives torn asunder.
Not helping, Dad.
I wish your mother were here, God rest her soul.
- She'd know what to say. - "Put on another pot of tea."
That's what she'd say. The Irish answer to all problems.
- Well, it worked most of the time. - Who is this?
I have no idea, but if you're interested, I'll Google him.
Is this it for food in this house, like, eight crackers?
And what are these? Are these bananas?
- I think they were at one time. - I'll take one.
- I guess I forgot to shop this month. - What are you gonna do, sis?
- I mean, really, it's been eight months. - Dad's giving-up idea sounds intriguing.
I could become the crazy aunt who moves in down in the basement.
Put a cot in for me, some herbal teas. I'd like to get a dog, if that's okay?
Marc, don't you have a friend for Sarah?
"A Friend for Sarah." I'm now an episode of Little House on the Prairie.
- Come on, you must know somebody. - Not really.
But if you want to have an affair, I do know a couple of married guys.
- We'll let that be our fallback, okay? - Okay.
- An affair, that's a terrific idea. - My husband to the rescue.
Don't cover mine.
I think affairs should go on the other side.
Yeah.
Hey, Jake.
Hey, charlie.
Divorce is final.
You're a free man.
I don't know if... is the appropriate sentiment. Four years...
...woman I loved, I got my ass kicked. - High-five.
Not that kind of moment either.
- Down low? - Just because I want this to stop.
You are officially the worst client I've ever had.
- Thank you. - Let Lisa have everything.
Even the judge wanted you to keep those boxing gloves.
- She really liked you. - I liked her too, as far as judges go.
No. I mean, really.
Wow, that's a good-looking cougar.
Excellent stuff. You think she'd like to buy a handmade, stainable teak boat?
Maybe if it came with private lessons.
Everybody wants all that Tupperware...
...those computer-designed, fiberglass-composite things.
I mean, don't even look like boats.
They look like boats when they whiz by your wooden guy.
That was one race, and I've made some adjustments, charlie.
- Wood boats can win, trust me on that. - They can't win.
That's why people don't want them.
They can't win, but they lose beautifully.
And the whole experience is just better. Look at this.
I'm making these boats the exact same way...
...the Spanish and the Portuguese made their ships of exploration.
There's a continuity at stake here, charlie.
This is more than a boat.
- This is a time machine. - Lf you paid this much attention to Lisa...
...you'd still be together. - This is true.
But you know what? If I had to do it it all over again, I wouldn't.
I wouldn't. Lisa taught me about sadness...
...about human frailty...
...and how unbearably fleeting happiness can be.
- I'm gonna owe her for the rest of my life. - Oh, you'll be paying. Monthly.
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